(Request: Please do still care to give after reading this.)
It’s that time of the year again when we are flooded with blessings. Being in a remote, poor community, we automatically come to mind as recipients of outreach programs and of gift-giving at Christmastime. While it brings about so much excitement and anticipation for poor people, I am somehow somewhat skeptical about this sort of practice. What manner of giving does a poor community really need? What kind of stuff would be considered necessary or something that would truly be helpful? Because there could indeed be an overflow, how will we manage to schedule numerous groups who will do gift-giving at the same time? The millennials among us would say, “Collab na lang po.” Moreover, tuwing Pasko lang ba talaga ang bigayan?
At times, giving is meant to deliver relief. This is normal in the circumstances following calamitous events. What is being accorded are the basics that could last for just a couple of days or so. Pantawid lang. The giver provides relief to the receiver. On the other hand, I have also observed a type of giving where the giver, not the receiver, would feel relieved. Clothes that had been in the closet since the Ice Age, shoes that had already found a home in the garage, stuff like VHS tapes and the like, among others. That is why I am not surprised anymore when I see winter clothes being ramped up, as in modeling, under sweltering heat in our coastal areas of Napsan. As with VHS tapes, assuming that they could still be functional in this present digital age, we would still first need a power supply to enjoy them. As such, the gesture of this manner of giving proves to be a relief to the giver but burdensome to the receiver.
There is also that sort of giving wherein the giver has actually received more, so much more, than the receiver. This phenomenon has gained traction, albeit unfortunately, with technology and social media. A smartphone is deemed criminal when, in real-time, the act of giving is being covered to the full view of those who are online around the world. What does it proclaim? “I know how to share my blessings with the poor,” the giver seems to be saying to himself or herself, perhaps expecting that the post would get as many likes as possible. If the outreach is a feeding program, it could turn into a feeding of the ego of the one who gives. The poor people, however, have just been even poorer by being exposed as “nobody,” to say the least. In such a scene, what is being told is not the giving nor the receiving, but the Great Divide.
The prevailing culture is what is problematic, though. It says, “Beggars cannot be choosers.” In other words, if you are needy, don’t be picky. This is true, but this is a sad truth. What is even more unfortunate is the fact that the receiver is left with no choice but to bite his or her tongue so as not to say anything or sound like complaining. This is disgusting. One is made poorer by being publicly known as being of the lowly class. Moreover, one is turned poorer when the poor, who are already voiceless, are also subdued to silence. Give the poor people a break, please.
So, how should we give?
I do propose that the poor people themselves should become our teachers when it comes to giving. After all, it is not unusual that we always say, “Kung sino pa ang mga mahihirap, sila pa ang mas mapagbigay.” Isn’t it true that in the Gospel, it was actually the poor widow who gave more compared to everybody else who made contributions?
Last year, one morning at Christmastime, I handed over an ampao envelope to one of my altar servers (Poypoy). His first reaction was one of surprise, and then he refused my small gift. “Hala, Father, ‘wag na po. Para na lang po sa iba po yan,” he exclaimed. But I insisted. He was able to receive it in the end. Later in the afternoon, to my pleasant surprise, Poypoy chatted me on Messenger with photos: “Thank you, po!” Sabi ng mga bata. Yong pera Father na binigay nyo pinameryenda ko po sa mga bata.” What is more, Poypoy did not post it on social media. Instead, obviously, it was just through PM that he let me know.
In our parish, it has been a two-year-old practice for us that each family is asked to contribute Php 20.00 weekly. The collected amount will be for those who will be hospitalized, for student assistance, and for newly-born babies. I am amazed at how my parishioners would be faithful to the simple gesture of giving. While the amount could also be relatively insignificant, the regularity of the giving makes the giving more genuine—a case in which we could say, “Kahit hindi Pasko ay magbigayan.
Likewise, there has been a wonderful custom of gulpi-mano or bayanihan. This is a coming together at an agreed time to work together and help each other accomplish a task or a project without monetary compensation. Personally, I am blessed that gulpi-mano is very much alive among my parishioners. I have observed them everywhere—in schools, in barangay halls, and especially in the parish. Further, those who could not make it for gulpi-mano would automatically shell out for some foodies and the like.
What is true giving? First, giving is sharing. “Freely ye have received, freely give.” (Mt. 10:8) Second, giving is solidarity. The giver and the receiver are both dignified. And third, giving is fellowship. In so many words, the giver becomes a receiver at the same time, while the receiver herself or himself is able to give in return.
Happy giving, everyone
